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[theron09]

I made it through the week! Not sure I'm going to make it through the weekend though - I've got this exam on Monday, two essays to do and two pieces of coursework to work on. I remember the time when weekends were supposed to be a time to rest! On top of that, I've got three books to read for the history coursework and I need to try and track down some other books to read.

This whole letter writing thing is very theraputic. I kind of ended up ranting at my Dad a little bit so feel free to skip. And I'm going to f-lock this post because, you know, it's kind of private.

 

Day 2 – Your crush

Hi,

I wish you were less oblivious and I wish I was a braver person.

That’s all,

Megan

Day 3 – Your parents

I’ll get the negative one over with first.

Dad,

I haven’t seen you in years and that was my own choice. I get a card and some money from you for my birthday, Easter and Christmas and I know I’m supposed to be grateful for that – I even send you thank you letters every time – but I’m really not. You were supposed to try and build up a relationship with me and my little sister through letters but you never bother. You don’t even send a letter with the birthday cards anymore and when I told you I was sitting my exams I thought maybe, just maybe, you might reply and ask me how they went.

Mum’s going to struggle to put me and M through university and I KNOW that you won’t even offer to help because, apparently, what you pay per week is all you’re willing to pay. It’s not enough. It barely pays for M’s music lessons and it wouldn’t even have covered all of my re-sits.

I’m never going to forgive you for what you’ve put us through. I wish you were a better Dad and I wish that you didn’t make everything so awkward because, come on, phoning at 2 in the morning when you’re drunk and breathing down the phone is just out of order and selfish. When I was younger and the divorce and everything was going on, I was genuinely scared that you were going to take me away from my family and I hated you for the way you made my baby sister cry.

Sending cards saying that I’m a ‘special daughter’ doesn’t mean anything because you don’t know me. You’re my Dad but you’re not going to know me and it’s you who is missing out because you have two daughters that you don’t even know.

I’m done.

 

Mum,

I love you. You are such an amazing, inspirational woman and I really hope that I can be as strong for any future children as you are for us. Over the past seventeen years, I’ve seen you deal with so much shit (and you’d kill me for swearing) and you just get on with it – I don’t know how you do it.

You’ve done so much for our family and you’re the reason why we have so many good memories; Florida, Greece, Lapland, days out with Kizzie. You’ve made sure we’ve never missed out on anything.

There’s so much more that I could say but I think you already know it. Just know that I want you to be happy and that I love you and I DO appreciate everything that you’ve done for us.

*hugs*

 

 

Comments

[theron09.livejournal.com]

Yep!

Thanks - I ended up getting more worked up than I thought I would!

*hugs*

[theron09.livejournal.com]

My mum is awesome :) Yeah, I try not to think about him to often but every so often it's good to have a rant about him!

*hugs*